According to Oxford Dictionary, a friend is defined as “A person with whom one has developed a close and informal relationship of mutual trust and intimacy;”
Any reasonable person would settle for the dictionary’s definition; a dictionary is the ultimate compilation of correct definitions. But the reasonable ship has sailed for me, and considering how highly I view myself as a writer, it’s a reasonable conclusion that an unreasonable writer would post a blog challenging the dictionary.
On August 6th, I turned 13, and though this might be my subtle way of fishing for birthday gifts (who doesn’t love a gift?), the reason I’m mentioning this fact is because it’s my evidence.
On birthdays, honestly speaking, we tend to have sky high expectations. It’s human nature, to want to feel special on that one day out of three hundred sixty five. Yet on my birthday, I had set my expectations rock-bottom low, because I didn’t want to be disappointed. Flash back to the day I turned 13.
THE FIRST HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG, FORM TIME:
I turn the corner into the gray hallway parted into halves by stubby lockers. My shoulders sag — I keep all my books in my bag in avoidance of going to my locker to fetch them, but my unorthodox strategy is clearly taking its revenge on my poor back. No, mum, this is not an I-told-you-so moment, I think to myself as I lose balance and the bag nearly topples me over, huffing with irritation as I speed-walk into the classroom. My friends wait to surprise me there, and once again, I nearly topple over. I put down the bags full of cinnamon rolls for my class, and rush over to meet them. When the class sings for me, I’m blushing — it’s awkward having them all stare at me — and when they finish, people look at me expectantly for a reaction, so I take a little bow, and some people laugh.
THE SECOND “CUMPLEAÑOS FELIZ” SONG, SPANISH CLASS:
Once again, my amazing friends tell my teacher it’s my birthday, and the Spanish class sings for me in, well, Spanish. Only one minor issue with that, though. Nobody knows any of the words in the Spanish version of the popular jig except Happy Birthday itself, so the song goes somewhat like “Cumpleaños feliz, cumpleaños feliz, something, something, something, something, cumpleaños feliz!” I don’t mind, though. The gesture means enough.
THE THIRD HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG, LUNCH BREAK:
I’m sitting on our usual table, when one of my friends brandishes a cake. Decadent chocolate, still radiating the cool that comes only from a cake out of the school fridge. Everyone else gathers around, some for their friend, some for their share of free food, and, surprise, surprise, I get sung for again. I should’ve probably known how to react by then, but I was still equal parts flushed and honored. My friends help me distribute my cinnamon rolls, the warmth in their eyes visible in their overeager tendencies. The fact that they care for me is so heavy in the air, it’s almost palpable, almost tangible, and I fill to the brim with an overwhelming gratitude and sense of wonder at how I won the friend lottery.
So, to conclude, a letter to Oxford Dictionary:
Dear Oxford Dictionary,
Don’t get me wrong, I love you dearly. I have a huge collection of dictionaries, thesauri, and vocabulary builders, with a one-off Spanish to English dictionary too. All the jargon in this letter? It comes from you.
My proposition is this: change your definition of friend. To what? To this.
Friend. Noun. /frɛnd/
A stroke of luck where you meet someone as willing to go to the ends of the Earth for you as you are for them; found family. People who care for you unceasingly, know you unquestionably, and trust you unwaveringly. People you can disagree with and argue with, but if it’s meant to be, they stay with you either way. People who don’t always last forever, but mean the world and more for the time they do.
And if you don’t believe me? Here’s proof.
All you have to do is come to Bangalore and meet my friends.
With lots of love for language,
Guneeva Kalkat.
P.S. A popular piece of internet humor: “A good friend will always pick you up when you fall down. They will laugh at you first, but they’ll always pick you up.”
And for the readers who made it all the way here, most of them being the friends I’ve been ranting about, here’s a special surprise.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:
It has been long due that I acknowledged the fantastic people supporting me on this journey, so what better place to do it than in a post about people I care about?
To my mother, for being the world’s best juggler. Not literally (I wouldn’t trust you to throw around flaming knives), but metaphorically, for you’ve always managed to juggle being my mom, advice-giver, editor, supporter, pragmatic voice, and personal comedian. Thank you for that.
To my father, for always pushing me to be my best self and then some, for telling the most horrible dad jokes (“If every dog has his day, does every horse have his hay?”), and for telling the best stories.
To my grandparents, for being my rock, my shoulder, and the hug that catches me when I fall and helps me realize just how loved I am. You mean the world to me, even when I take you too much for granted to express how much I care about you.
To my relatives, for always supporting me through whatever chaos I manage to get myself stuck in between.
As for my friends, you deserve a shout-out too.
To Nea, my storytelling partner in crime, for your loyalty, humor, tendencies to read the same books as me, and complete inability to give constructive feedback. If anyone asks, you don’t get any sneak-peaks and you read all my blogs at the same time as everybody else.
To Maithili, for so many things. For being there for me always, for constantly being so understanding and supportive, and for helping me pass Spanish Class.
To Jihyo, for being the rain cloud to my sunshine. We belong together.
To Inara, the sit-down comedian. I don’t know how you manage to be so goddamn funny, sarcastic, and supportive simultaneously, but you’re a part of my life I would want to keep forever. #WeLoveIna! #InaSlays!
To Areeha, for the undying energy, support, and walking, talking, cheer squad. You’ve always had my back, and I hope you don’t plan to stop anytime soon.
To Tanishka, Tara, and Rishitha, for being amazing, warm, and too-creative-for-their-own-good friends. You inspire me to be better every single day, and make me laugh while I’m at it. I don’t know what weird made-up family tree brought us together, but I’m over the moon that it did.
To Nimrat, for being an intellectual and emotional balance. The buddy meet in grade 6 paired me with the right person. Thank you for your space knowledge, kindness, and excellent debate skills. P.S. You need to pick a new favorite hand gesture.
To Advay, Azad, Shashank, and Avyukt, for proving to me that not all middle-school boys are complete idiots. Your friendship means more to me than you can imagine.
To Adira and Prarthana, for always making me laugh. You made our long-distance friendship work, and it was so worth it. We are meant to be. Don’t forget that.
To all my other friends who opted for their names not to be online, or who may or may not have been victims of my terrible memory, thank you for being my friend. Thank you so very much.
And finally, to Dash, my best friend with four paws. Woof, woof. Need I say more? I think not.
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